The Uncommon Core: Stag Hunt's Nonstandards

For the correct analogy for the mind is not a vessel that needs filling, but wood that needs igniting — no more — and then it motivates one towards originality and instills the desire for truth.
— Plutarch

The Uncommon Core Non-Standards provide a inconsistent, vague understanding of what students might learn, so teachers and parents remember to let youth be limited only by their imaginations.[1]

Non-Standards

(A) that which is conducted in the common tongue,

a.1 Loyalty oaths and other pledges of fidelity

a.2 Your name please.

a.3 Everything below.

(B) facts,

b.1

b.42 What is the meaning of life?

(C) fun,

c.1 This list.

(D) requiring a suckling pig,

d.1 biological dissections.

(E) penciled,

e.1 doodles of Lord-of-the-Rings-esque lands to stave off the boredom induced by yet another documentary.

e.2 first drafts.

e.3 second, third, and fourth drafts.

e.4 mathematical proofs (or perhaps done in LaTeX)

(F) calculated,

f.1 Restaurant tips.

f.2 Order of magnitude estimates

f.3 Best left to a computer:

f.3a Netflix recommendations.

f.3b That requiring many easily repeatable tedious steps.

(G) that which is best acquired from the streets,

g.1 Savvy.

g.2 Pluck.

g.3 How to tell when someone is full of shit.

g.4 How to tell when you’re full of shit.

(H) included in the present classification,

h.1 see here.

(I) frenzied,

i.1 Pokemon.

i.2 Pogs.

i.3 POGS POKEMON!

(J) innumerable,

j.1 See Cantor's diagnol argument.

(K) drawn best in dirt,

k.1 Inscribed circles (until of course some Roman legionaire comes along and chops your head off).

(L) et cetera,

l.1 Starting a robotics museum on a field trip to India.

l.2 Reciting an order of magnitude more digits of pi than other students.

l.3 Inventing a new yo yo trick by their fourth pair of sneakers and realizing the scam of traveling yo yo troupes by their fifth.

l.4 Learning math by osmosis as a janitor in an elite university.

l.5 Rounding out high school by running for school board.

(M) involving a broken water fountain,

m.1 starting an epic water balloon fight.

(N) that very abstracted could be put in mathematical notation.

n.(n+1) see above.

[1] The Non-Standards have enjoyed a long and august reputation through the millennia, and doctor Franz Kunz traces their lineage all the way back to a certain Chinese encyclopedia entitled Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge.  

In its remote pages it is written that all learning is divided into: (a) that which is conducted in the common tongue of the emperor, (b) facts, (c) fun, (d) requiring a suckling pig, (e) penciled, (f) calculated, (g) that which is best acquired from the streets (h) included in the present classification, (i) frenzied, (j) innumerable, (k) drawn best in dirt, (l) et cetera, (m) involving a broken water fountain, (n) that very abstracted could be put in mathematical notation.

It is in that ambitiously classificatory spirit that Stag Hunt is proud to present the 42nd edition of the Uncommon Core Non-Standards!

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